A TALE FROM WHEN I WAS HOMELESS (8min read)
n my way home from work I stopped in for a few drinks at my local watering hole. Well a few drinks led to a lot of drinks. Gary a guy I haven’t seen in probably 6 months came in, he kept on saying the age old excuse “come on I haven’t seen you in forever, have one more” so we kept drinking. While the hours flew by, it was now 9:00 pm, I was ready to cab it home. Gary in his wisdom says “let’s go to Oil City for a few drinks, a friend is there right now ” so I agree. Oil City is a night club down town on Jasper ave, a hot spot at one time. I reach for my wallet and I don’t have it, I check the truck and it’s not there ?? I must of left it at home. Jamie, the pub owner says “no problem man catch me next time your in” so that worked out good. “ thanks man, will do” I tell Jamie.
🎶🎶 I whistled for a cab and when it came near. The license plate said 'Fresh' and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was Shity. But I thought “Nah, forget it, yo, Holmes, to Oil City ! 🎶🎶
So we go to Oil City, on the way there in the cab I tell Gary I don’t think I’ll be allowed in? I have paint on my clothes, pretty grubby looking and really not looking like the Oil City crowd. Gary says “oh don’t worry man they will let you in” I’m still unsure but I nod in agreement. I tell him I don’t have my wallet so he has to buy my drinks and I’ll pay him back. He agreed and we get out of the cab and go to the door, the bouncer takes one look at me and chuckles “you ain’t coming man” while pointing at me. I say fast witted “what? these are designer jeans man?” Well he didn’t buy it, Gary says “hold on I’ll go inside for a couple drinks and then we can go” seems fair and we did come all this way so I agreed. I’d wait outside while he has a few drinks, it’s 9:30 and Gary goes in side “30 minutes I yelled at him”
I sit down on the park bench and wait, some people walk by and throw change at my feet. I pause and think why would they do that? They really must of dropped it, I really couldn’t figure it out. Also at this point I’m sure I smell like a brewery, another guy walks by and gives me a $5 bill? Wtf? Why do I keep getting money? I look at my phone and it’s already 10:15. Where is he I keep thinking to my self. It’s the end of September and I don’t have a jacket. It’s getting cold out.
So he still hasn’t come outside, I pull out my phone to text him again and it dies. GREAT, I’m on Jasper Ave in Edmonton, no wallet, no phone , no ID. Then a light bulb goes off, people are throwing change at me because they think I’m homeless. I look further down my 16 foot bench and 3 other guys are there to with there hats turned over collecting change and bills. Well, in the next hours, yes I said hours, it’s now midnight. I shuffle down and start talking to my new found friends, just small talk. They tell me they live over on 102st behind the tracks, they get enough money for McDonald’s and a little beer. They offer me a beer, I accept. Drinking beer with my new found buddies. They sure had interesting stories. We would all look up and say thank you to the people giving us change. Then go back to drinking our beer and gossip. By now I have a blanket on me from one of them, so I’m warm and drinking a ice cold beer. This is a damn good Saturday night I thought.
The one guy says it’s now 1:00am, god damn it where is Gary! But really I’m kind of enjoying this so I’d rather be here than in that crappy night club. Out comes a guy from the bar and starts yelling at us ........
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