We will huff and puff and blow your house down, and i can build you a new one if I do .... My interest in construction started at the young age of 4 when little Gordie would pitter patter through the house and take apart things. I would go down stairs, grab a few screwdrivers from my dads old rusty collection and take the screws out of anything I could find. I took apart a toaster it had to be thrown out as my dad, just like with Humpty Dumpty and all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put it back together again. Yes I was a naughty child, my sister had a toy called a Merlin seen below 👇🏻

Well she made me mad for some reason and I decided smashing it was a good idea. While my dad video taped my sister do a cartwheel or some other gymnastics thing, you can hear me in the back ground mutter away .....

“I’m gonna smmmmmmmassshh yur mmmmmmmmmerlin”

And that’s just what I did. I could be heard off camera smashing it one wack at a time with a little plastic, toy garden hoe. One by one, I took all the screws out of a dinning room chair and my Grandpa sat down and the chair imploded. He fell over and landed right on his back, I still feel bad about that one. I fell over the banister in our bi-level home around the age of 5, landed 8 feet below on the concrete floor right on my head. My sister would and still to this day jokes “that’s what happened to you” when I do something stuipid. My parents would lock me in my room and had a slide bolt lock on the outside of the door to keep me inside. Not really allowed now, I wish I could lock my kids up 😂 but I can’t and it wasn’t affective anyway. When everyone was asleep I would use my little hand and take the bottom hinge pin out, pry the door to the side just enough and crawl out to wander the house unsupervised. If you ever tried taking a hinge pin out, then you know how hard it can be. To this day I can’t get a hinge pin out unless I use a hammer and a punch.

Fast forward to Jr High, it was a beautiful mid summer day, my friends Kevin, Graham and I were hanging at my house. Playing road hockey, watching movies, we went to the Red Rooster to get a slushie. Red Rooser is a convenient store, not to be confused with the Red Dragon, If you missed it check out red dragons story . My dad suggested we do something “come with me” he said. As he walks up stairs to our second floor he says “I want all the wall paper stripped off the walls in this bedroom, I’ll pay you each $30” well you can imagine we said yes! $30 each, we are rich. So we get right to it, putty knife in one hand and finger nails in the other. We are peeling the wall paper off and it’s not going well, it felt like days had past, inch by inch pieces were coming off. We continued picking and tearing it off clawing out way to the finish line and my dad comes in and says “if you use a little water it comes off better, I’ll be back later I gotta run into work” “ok perfect, I’ll grab a bucket with a sponge and be right back” I say while running out of the room.

We apply some water, it soaks in and the paper comes off relatively easy in comparison to our previous attempts, good idea dad ! Water, peeling, more water, more peeling. More water....... 3 hours past and the room is almost done, we are champs. Our glory was short lived as my sister yells up stairs “umm you guys better get down here” we trot down stairs all proud and excited from our job well done, to see the drywall ceiling in the living room with a irregular 2 foot by 2 foot hole in it !! The ceiling stipple all peeled off and water dripping from the ceiling. I think we used a little too much water

THE FIRST THING I BLURT OUT IS.......

OH SHIT, WE’RE DEAD

My sister sayscome on I’ll drive you guys to Graham’s house

Before I realize what was happening I was thrust into FBI’s witness protection program. I packed a bag and my sister packed our 3 wallpaper stripping asses in the car and her 1984 4door Buick Skylark roared off into the distance. As the tail lights glimmer in the distance we knew we were safe ...... for now.

Thank you for reading❤️ Until the next one

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