.....A BEER CAN !

It’s Friday May 21 1988, the Edmonton Oilers are one game away from hoisting their 4th Stanley Cup, 4 Stanley Cups right in a row, wow truly an unstoppable combination of talent. But in Just 2 short months from then Wayne Gretzky gets married to an actress Janet Jones from Los Angeles, California.

Then 3 weeks after the marriage, Wayne has a press conference saying he’s leaving the Edmonton Oilers. He’s been traded to the L.A. Kings. At that moment, if you listen close, you heard hockey fans yell FUCK NO And hearts clear across Edmonton, broke into a thousand pieces. But if you think a city in outrage over a trade of their King was loud, well you haven’t heard my dad yell

Two days after that press conference you can hear a basement window on a south side Edmonton home slide open, what sounds like whispering can be heard from a distance. A couple of cases of Molsen Canadian beer is left out side the window, two arms reach out of the window and hands grab the case of beer and slowly pull it inside. You see, my sister and her 16 year old friends would have parties, they would drop the alcohol at the basement window and then go in the front door of the house walk by my parents “Hey Mr & Mrs C “ they would gleefully say as they ran down stairs all innocent looking. My Dad, no idiot, knew they had alcohol but couldn’t catch them drinking. The basement stairs were long and straight, by the time he got down stairs he had no evidence of alcohol. He calls in the big guns, he would say “little Gordie, suit up” well ok not really but that sounds good doesn’t it? I felt so cool being 11 years old and his spy, and I got to make $5 ! This Arnold gif is how it felt to suit up for my night

I would go charging downstairs, my sister Tracy, would yell for me to leave. Most times I left empty handed, But then there’s the time I got an empty beer can. Again like past descriptions, like Gollum to the ring, I grabbed my precious and ran upstairs “Dad! DAD! I got one ! They are drinking” I’d holler . Sometimes I’d make it up and other times my sister caught me first 😬 . One of these ways ended with me getting $5 ! The other way ended not so nice. My Dad would run down, yell and scream, give them trouble for drinking ect .

Yes that is insanity, because this would happen countless times l, over and over again. Nothing changed, they still snuck in Boose, I still “ suited up” to catch them , my Dad still freaked out and yelled 🤷🏼‍♂️

It was pretty crazy, this would happen 2-3 times a month. But I guess at the end of the day, all the kids were safe, no one drove. I’m sure my parents would have sooner had her at home drinking then some random house or bush party ? Obviously they couldn’t just roll over and allow all the drinking so they played along. Sent me down and I’d catch them. My dad would go play his role ect

Thanks for reading ❤️ Until the next one

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This 4 word phrase is assumed to be of British origin, the phrase first coined in the early 1900’s-1910. Basically a serious conversation would turn to a funny one when a sexual innuendo is thrown in. In the 90's, it was made popular by Saturday Night Live’s Wayne’s World, staring Mike Myers and Dana Carvey . They would change the vocabulary of a generation, for the good and bad we don’t know 😂

SCHWING!

WE’RE NOT WORTHY!

THATS WHAT SHE SAID!

I’M HAVING A GOOD TIME,

GOOD CALL !

These being just a few, well in our house the THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID has gotten out of control in our house, not just a little bit, big time. Almost every conversation that goes on has a “that’s what she said” My wife, thank god, has an amazing sense of humor. She keeps me laughing everyday. Lee, my wife, is the only female in our house. She has to deal with 3 boys, 2 of which are teenage minds, with teenage sense of humor and then me. So simply put, she has 3 boys with a teenage sense of humor

Now I don’t know if it’s television, constant access to internet or that we treat our kids older than they are? But they seem way older than I was at their age. I feel like I was still eating crayons and building forts. Their minds are always in the gutter and very quick witted, searching for something that resembles a joke or punch line.

Any and every single opportunity that the boys can say “that’s what she said” it gets said. My wife just today, we were eating a donair that I brought home for supper. Lee says “Its so big, I can’t fit that much meat in my mouth” you can see it, a light bulb goes on when she realizes what she just said, then smirked and said “don’t you boys say it” Oh jezz, how could we not? I mean it was like a 1985 Stanley Cup playoffs and Gretzky skating down the ice. His number 99 Oilers jersey flapping in the wind, he passes to Messier, Messier gives it back to Gretzky he crosses over the blue line, Kurri charges the net, Gretzky to Kurri .. all Kurri has to do it tap the little black rubber puck in the net, it was an easy goal for number 17 , all we had to do was tap it in .... all 3 of us at the same time ...

”that’s what she said!!”

HE SHOOTS! HE SCORES !!

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It’s now 1966, Lyndon B. Johnson is President and the space race was alive and well to see who could land on the moon first. Inflation grew out of control as an attempt to fund the Vietnam War which was raging on and just getting warmed up. Like ants in an ant farm, Two Canadian kids, in a small Canadian town are just getting ready to go to class

Larry closes his lockers, him and Johnny start walking down the old halls of their school, Johnny turns to Lar “what are we doing after school? Can you get yur dads truck again ?!” Larry’s mind and ears are blocked to the babbling from Johnny’s lips. Larry was focused on a beautiful girl at her locker and not what his, size 10, feet are doing and slams right into the English room door and drops his books. Embarrassed, he bends over to pick up his papers and books, Johnny mutters “dumbass” and walks in to class and sits down. While collecting his things, the girl, picks up a pen and says “is this yours?” “Ummm errr yes it is” Larry says with a lump in his throat. “Hi I’m Carol” she says softly.

“Hi Carol, nice to meet ya, I’m Larry”

Carol passed Larry the pen but, before she did, Carol wrote her phone number on Larry’s math book. Larry looked up with a gleeful smile “well alright” Larry said while smiling. Johnny and Larry are walking to math class later that day. “She’s foxy, hey Johnny ? Dont you think? I wonder if she wanna go to a movie , I mean, I mean “ Johnny getting sick of His banter about this Carol chick he shortly says“ Larry would you shut up man, we got work let’s bug out early and prep” But Larry was In love at first sight he was only 15 but he knew . “lets bail, I have my dads truck later ” Larry says. His dad was out of town building roads so Larry got to use the truck , the blue 1961 Chevy now has a dent on the passenger side door.

The boys get to Johnnys house, they like going to his house because his parents are absent. While they home all the time, thier relationship is more with Jack Daniel’s and vodka than with their son Johnny. They go inside walk past the kitchen with a mound of dirty dishes in the sink and walk down stairs to Johnny's room. As Larry rounds the corner he hollers “Hi Mr and Mrs. P” Not a word is said by Johnny’s parents as they trample down the stairs skipping every second step “I cant believe the smiths are out of town for the weekend, it’s going to be a good score” Johnny says. “It’s gonna be so twitchin, I can’t wait Johnny !” Larry excitedly says. The boys pack hammers and hand tools in a bag and head up stairs. “ Mom , Dad .... I’m going to sleep at Larry’s house tonight. Ok? “ Johnny asks. His father pauses, sets down his JD and snaps “ well, be home tomorrow. Early. You have chores” Johnny gives two thumbs up and off they go. “Now we just go to your house and tell your mom your sleeping at my house. Larry ? Larry ? What are you zoned out for ??” says Johnny. He notices Carol walking across the street, off Larry goes to say hello. As he trots over to her he says “Be right back, stay here Johnny” Carol notices Larry running towards her and she smiles “Hey Carol, Carol wait up “ as he gasps for air . “Oh Hey Larry, what are you and Johnny doing” Larry trying to look cool and catch his breath said while breathing heavy “we are going to go” he can’t say rob a house. He panics and freezes. “Umm, just going to hang loose at my house I think? .. we should go out sometime Carol ?” Carol very happily says “yes I would like that! Call me” Larry says “cool how about tonight? I could pick you up?!” Carol beaming with joy says “YES, you have my number, what time you thinking ?” Johnny in the back ground getting mad by now yells “ LARRY HURRY UP MAN !” Larry looks back over his shoulder, at Johnny and looks at Carol “ I gotta go but I’ll call you tonight, ok ? Carol smiles and knods.

“ What the Fuck ? Did I hear you say you’d see her tonight ? We have a job to do, stuff to steal! Johnny snaps at Larry ... “don’t worry, I’ll only see her for a hour man after the job is done” They are just walking into Larry’s and his mom snaps “ where were you ? I was waiting to serve dinner !” “Sorry ma” he says , “we were at Johnny’s I’m going to sleep over at his tonight , ok ?” She looks Johnny up and down, snarles her lip and says “ya I guess” Larry’s mom, Doris, never really liked Johnny. His parents have a bad rap in the community. “Hummm, I guess” she says reluctantly. “Thanks mom, can I take the truck.” Larry says. “Yes you can but in the morning on your way home I need u to stop and get me my flowers ok Larry ?” “Yes Ma “ says Larry. The Boys go down stairs and get some of Larry’s things and off they go to get some beer. They think it helps so they start drinking to calm there nerves .

They pull up outside an old bungalow on the west side of the city, all the lights are off. Perfectly manicured lawn. Has a cute little mail box that matches the house. “I dunno Johnny, I just want to go see Carol and go for ice cream” Larry says nervously. “Larry, come on let’s do this and then you can go meet Carol” Johnny says with frustration in his voice .... unbenouced to them, a little old lady across the street noticed a strange blue pick up truck parked on the road. With two young punks sitting inside and she was pondering the idea of calling the cops

What will happen to our boys in the next chapter ? Will they decide to leave and not do the job ? Will they succeed at there life of crime or does grandma call the cops on their punk asses ! Stay tuned Chapter 3 coming soon.

These are stories, just stories based loosely on some experiences my father in law has had. He is an interesting man with a heart of gold 💛

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We will huff and puff and blow your house down, and i can build you a new one if I do .... My interest in construction started at the young age of 4 when little Gordie would pitter patter through the house and take apart things. I would go down stairs, grab a few screwdrivers from my dads old rusty collection and take the screws out of anything I could find. I took apart a toaster it had to be thrown out as my dad, just like with Humpty Dumpty and all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put it back together again. Yes I was a naughty child, my sister had a toy called a Merlin seen below 👇🏻

Well she made me mad for some reason and I decided smashing it was a good idea. While my dad video taped my sister do a cartwheel or some other gymnastics thing, you can hear me in the back ground mutter away .....

“I’m gonna smmmmmmmassshh yur mmmmmmmmmerlin”

And that’s just what I did. I could be heard off camera smashing it one wack at a time with a little plastic, toy garden hoe. One by one, I took all the screws out of a dinning room chair and my Grandpa sat down and the chair imploded. He fell over and landed right on his back, I still feel bad about that one. I fell over the banister in our bi-level home around the age of 5, landed 8 feet below on the concrete floor right on my head. My sister would and still to this day jokes “that’s what happened to you” when I do something stuipid. My parents would lock me in my room and had a slide bolt lock on the outside of the door to keep me inside. Not really allowed now, I wish I could lock my kids up 😂 but I can’t and it wasn’t affective anyway. When everyone was asleep I would use my little hand and take the bottom hinge pin out, pry the door to the side just enough and crawl out to wander the house unsupervised. If you ever tried taking a hinge pin out, then you know how hard it can be. To this day I can’t get a hinge pin out unless I use a hammer and a punch.

Fast forward to Jr High, it was a beautiful mid summer day, my friends Kevin, Graham and I were hanging at my house. Playing road hockey, watching movies, we went to the Red Rooster to get a slushie. Red Rooser is a convenient store, not to be confused with the Red Dragon, If you missed it check out red dragons story . My dad suggested we do something “come with me” he said. As he walks up stairs to our second floor he says “I want all the wall paper stripped off the walls in this bedroom, I’ll pay you each $30” well you can imagine we said yes! $30 each, we are rich. So we get right to it, putty knife in one hand and finger nails in the other. We are peeling the wall paper off and it’s not going well, it felt like days had past, inch by inch pieces were coming off. We continued picking and tearing it off clawing out way to the finish line and my dad comes in and says “if you use a little water it comes off better, I’ll be back later I gotta run into work” “ok perfect, I’ll grab a bucket with a sponge and be right back” I say while running out of the room.

We apply some water, it soaks in and the paper comes off relatively easy in comparison to our previous attempts, good idea dad ! Water, peeling, more water, more peeling. More water....... 3 hours past and the room is almost done, we are champs. Our glory was short lived as my sister yells up stairs “umm you guys better get down here” we trot down stairs all proud and excited from our job well done, to see the drywall ceiling in the living room with a irregular 2 foot by 2 foot hole in it !! The ceiling stipple all peeled off and water dripping from the ceiling. I think we used a little too much water

THE FIRST THING I BLURT OUT IS.......

OH SHIT, WE’RE DEAD

My sister sayscome on I’ll drive you guys to Graham’s house

Before I realize what was happening I was thrust into FBI’s witness protection program. I packed a bag and my sister packed our 3 wallpaper stripping asses in the car and her 1984 4door Buick Skylark roared off into the distance. As the tail lights glimmer in the distance we knew we were safe ...... for now.

Thank you for reading❤️ Until the next one

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Well Patty B wrote about her dirty little secret yesterday, read patty’s blog if you haven’t. Today I’m going to tell you my dirty little secret, I’ve had this secret for awhile. I’ve told a little fib.... a small little lie. What is this lie you wonder? Well keep reading

This is a blogging journey that I embarked on, with out really knowing how it would end, for that matter how it really started either ?? To be 100% honest I never thought I would get a boost or be recognized by Coil. I thought this would end and I would fail horrible at it, never imagined that people would want to read anything this fat old man had to say, as my inner voice would tell me.

I had no chance, no hope, not even a glimmer of a shot to succeed.

In my mind succeeding was, a boost from coil that was never going to happen. I’m a failure, no one wants to read my stuff. As much as I would have continued to blog because I love it and love the Coil community that I some how fell into this wonderful group of people I now call friends.

I seem very positive and I am really a positive person 99 % of the time but, The inner battle I had with myself over this was a struggle, I was in a battle between what my mind thought and my heart wanted . My heart wanted to write, my mind said you are worthless so stop writing and give up. I mean, NOW I loved to write BUT, was convinced I would fail in my mind, I had 60% in English in high school. I was a kid that hated school. This was a battle I would lose, trying to blog. My inner voice had a hay day with this and fed my mind every negative comment I could think of and some I couldn’t think of.

Well my little white lie, my little secret ... for the last month I’ve told no one that I’ve been blogging. Not a soul, No one from my family or friends that is. Not even my wife. Not sure why? I know Lee would have supported me in anything I do. I was scared I’d fail, I’d be ashamed if I did and didn’t want anyone to know if I did. But this story ends happy, I beat those negative thoughts right out of my mind. Fought through all month and

I got a boost from Coil. I feel validated. I feel like I did it. Even though I know I succeed with out a boost it still felt really good. So now my wife knows about my blogging adventure and she’s reading like I’ve never seen her read before, enjoying my personal confession or diary of blogs, laughing and crying beside me in bed as she reads them and I write this. What I’ve realized all along is .... this is what I need to be validated, to have my beautiful wife read them, laugh, cry and give her support. All I’ve needed was Lee, all I need is Lee. I say it again like I have before, I am the lucky one 🍀

Thank you to Coil for the boost and this amazing platform to use , I am eternally grateful 🙏🏼

Thank you for reading ❤️ Until the next one

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2 minute read plus a 4 min video

Well with my speech being an issue, I needed a back up plan incase my mind started to run wild and fuel my anxiety and make it impossible for me to say what I wanted to say... so I made a video to help me but as it turned out I did just fine And no video needed so I edited the video . Added in some of the proposal and now have a great reminder of that night.

I had it all arranged with the staff of the restaurant, they helped me and even videoed things on there end with a hidden camera. Everything worked out perfect and I had some great footage. I hid the ring, or should I say the kitchen hid the ring on our desert. She loves kumquats so the ring was sitting on one.... she reaches for a kumquat and sees the beautiful ring and says ....

Wait?

https://www.cinnamon.video/watch?v=324833240630167406

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The dictionary and I seem to have a little disagreement on what is a dead beat dad. The dictionary talks about financial obligations, not paying child support. Well in my eyes a dead beat dad or mom goes far beyond just the financial responsibility. So just cause you pay child support, your not a horrible parent ?? Nope, sorry, money solves lots of things but it doesn’t solve this, you can’t just give money and think all is ok.

What is it with some dads? Why don’t they want to see there kids after a divorce or break up? Is it too hard? lack of love? maybe just how their dad treated them? I do not know. You don’t see moms stop seeing there children, it’s not to say it doesn’t happen but, it’s just a lot more rare. But why does it happen more? Mothers have maternal instincts because they carried the baby for 9 months?

“Whatever the reason, there is NO excuse!”

YEP that’s right, No Excuses, sure it might be hard. you know what else is hard, growing up with out a dad. Maybe your children hate you because the marriage just ended, or you cheated? Let them be mad at you, hate you, despise you. They are your flesh and blood and will forgive you or come around one day. Never stop trying to see them, birthdays, Christmas, weekends, ect ...

I have a couple experiences to share, my own with my dad. When I was young he was a pretty good dad. Took me to my hockey games and practices even the ones at 5 am on a Tuesday, he would take me no questions asked. We did dinners with my parents as young adults. Seen hIm and my mom both 3-4 times a week . He was around for both my sister kids younger years, now mostly I think because my mom pushed him. When I was in my early 20’s my parents split up, because he was sleeping with his secretary. She had 3 kids from 3 dads, a real gem here. One of the kids we think is a half brother but no evidence, let me tell you when you put there pictures side by side, they are spitting images of one another. Well as soon as my parents got divorced, she forbid him to see my sister and I. We would try to see him when we could, very early on he would say “what do you want me to do. She’s crazy, kill her if you want” kind of joking but maybe not. He was stuck with her, didn’t want to give up more money and be left with a ¼ of his money after thinking with the wrong head. In 25 years since that day he left I seen him maybe 20 times, if that, that’s a very generous guess. She absolutely for bid it, and hated me and my sister. As much as yes, she’s a big bitch, ultimately he should have still seen his kids. He passed away 2 years ago this August from pancreatic cancer. My life has not change one bit, I never seen him before so it hasn’t really affect me. I’ve mourned my dad for decades so his death was just almost easier, in my head at least he had a reason now as to why he didn’t see us anymore.

Icing on the cake, a month before he passed she had his will changed and took me and my sister out of it. Originally it was a 3 way split between my sister, myself and the bitch. Even better 1 week before land titles filing shows that his house that he solely owned was transferred into just her name. He was higher than high when doing this, in those times we would come to the hospital and sometimes he would know who we were. If you are a women that forbids your boyfriend or husband to see his kids from past relationship, well all I can say is shame on you. Be supportive, be a step mother not a bitch.

Now my own kids, I am there dad. I’m not the sperm donar dad . So this is how I differentiate between the two of us when speaking in this blog. Sperm donor dad lives 20 mins away and hasn’t called, texted, dropped a birthday card off, Christmas card. Not a damn thing in a decade .... yep what a piece of shit. I will say he has paid child support, no braces or any extras that he’s legally entitled to pay. My wife and I both feel it’s not worth the hastle to challenge him on this. Of course, Yes sperm donor dad has a new wife and she had kids from a previous marriage. So me as there dad had to pick up the pieces from being abandoned by SDD-Sperm Donar Dad .... They both say they don’t even remember him at all, forget what his face even looks like. Well his loss, my gain, I have the most amazing wife and 2 fantastic kids. I am the lucky one... I feel bad for my kids, because I too know what the rejection feels like when your dad has a new family.. and I was 24 years old ..... not age 6 & 2 ... I will always be there for Jake and Griff I love them both more than I could ever write, say or express.

Thank you for reading❤️ Until the next one

NEW TO DIGITAL ASSETS ?

Watch this short video to learn about XRP and what it’s used for. The video was created by Kieran Kelly he is allowing me to include it in all my blogs give him a follow on Twitter, show some love ❤️

https://www.xrp.co/video/

Coil is such a wonder platform, so many possibilities CLICK HERE to sign up for Coil and get all these great perks and MORE all for only $5 a month. That’s it. So what does that get you??👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

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Thanks for reading ❤️ Until the next one

NEW TO DIGITAL ASSETS ?

Watch this short video to learn about XRP and what it’s used for. The video was created by Kieran Kelly he is allowing me to include it in all my blogs give him a follow on Twitter, show some love ❤️

https://www.xrp.co/video/

Coil is such a wonder platform, so many possibilities CLICK HERE to sign up for Coil and get all these great perks and MORE all for only $5 a month. That’s it. So what does that get you??👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

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